Mikal

I had grown used to the fact that she would no longer be around. I figured that maybe she could come over during Thanksgiving or Christmas break and we would spend hours making up time spent apart, sharing stories about our classes, gossiping about the latest couples, and critiquing books that we had both read. But she never had the time. I would call her up and ask if this weekend was ok, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. She always had some grandparents to visit or a symphony to go to or some special dinner with her family. She never had time for her former best friend.

On the phone, she would ramble on about her new, amazing roommate or her busy schedule or how she missed being in band. I hardly spoke. I simply listened to her murmurings with a detached mind, paying more attention to the sound of her voice than actually comprehending what she was telling me. I would sit silently, reminiscing on times we had spent together and pondering what life would be like if she had never left. We would talk like this for no more than an hour and then she would have to go do something else that was much more important or my parents would start fussing because it was time to join them for dinner downstairs.

Finally, during one of these long-distance chats, we came up with a day that we could spend together. She would be home Monday and Tuesday of that week and, after spending Monday  walled up in her boring, empty house, realized she had the time to come to the school during the next day and just shadow me all day long. I was so excited. I even began telling my teachers “She’s back! And she’ll be here tomorrow!” so they would know what to expect. I couldn’t wait to show her my new online course, play alongside her in band, and watch her face as she realized how bad the school fries had gotten since she had left. It was going to be the perfect day for me because I would be spending it with my best friend.

I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw her sneak into the band room the next day. There she was, dressed in her favorite green jacket and wearing those annoying jeans with the snaps on the back of the pants legs. Her hair was longer and blonder than I remembered and she had donned a new pair of boxy red glasses that made her look older and smarter than before. I had gotten so used to her absence that I began to regret begging her to come as soon as she sat down beside me.

She got her trombone out and played with the band. We thought it was amusing when Lukac finally realized she was there. His squeaky voice expressed his surprise as he yelped “Oh, hi!” and waved energetically. We laughed a little, but it was a hesitant, tense laugh, as if we were testing the cold water with our feet. It had been months since we had last seen each other and that was during the summer at band camp, before she went away. After a while, she moved into trombone section with all the other trombonists. I felt betrayed. It was supposed to be my special day with her, but there she was, trying to reinstate all her other old friendships.

After band, we went to English together. The teacher wasn’t there that day and had left us a practice test to do in her absence. She decided that she wanted to take the test too, just for fun, of course. I invited her to share books with me but she declined, saying that she would rather share with one of the other girls in the class. I watched them as they began to fret over her. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you’re here!” I listened to the girls gasp out their disbelief at the fact their acquaintance was actually back in town. I wanted to yell out “She wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me!” After all, she had come to spend the day with me, not gossip like old friends with girls who had talked to her with such a false enthusiasm before she left. I was slowly earning my way up the social ladder and edging into the seat of magna cum laude when here she was, back for only one day and already crushing any hopes I had of improving my high school status and credentials. 

My heart began to burn green with an envious passion as the jealousy rose within me. It was supposed to be my special day with my best friend. Instead, I had to watch as she spent the rest of the day with other people and left me just hoping that I might pass her in the hallway. To make matters worse, she still had the same demon of academic spirit within her. She simply had to outdo me in everything, even though she wasn’t really concerned about the outcome. She bragged about how she aced the English test, even though she didn’t even go to our school anymore. She took over the limelight as she entertained her audiences with tales of her new school, wowing them with the ideas of dorm rooms and college level classes and the lack of a high school football team. I had grown so accustomed to being the center of attention and the top of the class while she was gone, that I began to despise her. Here was one of my two best friends in the whole world and I hated her guts for making me look bad.

I haven’t talked to her since. Not because of my jealousy, but because of the receding amount of common ground between us. The longer she’s gone, the farther I feel from her and the harder it is for me to talk to her. One day, I will talk to her again. I will tell her of all the miraculous things I have accomplished since she’s been gone and we’ll debate the meaning of life like we once did. But not today. Today, I must realize that life isn’t about competition, grades, or your reputation. Life is about enjoying what time you have with your friends, because tomorrow, they may not be around.