Single. Still.

I'm starting to go crazy. It's been almost 5 months since the break-up. I am definitely over him and ready to move on. I've been ready for about a month or so now... I just can't get romance out of my head. I have other priorities and things going on in life, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I've looked at so so many guys thinking "hey, he has potential" or "hey, we have a lot in common." But it's no use. I don't spend enough time with any of these guys for anything to happen. The only guy I do spend time with is Carson, my best friend. Who is crushing on my other best friend, making it difficult for me because I feel like a third wheel in their relationship, which isn't even a relationship. But it kills me nonetheless. I don't want to be desperate. I don't want to have to rely on some guy to bring me happiness. The only man I need in my life right now is God, and I just pray that He reveals to me his awesomeness so that I can forget about all these boys. I just pray that God will give me the patience to wait or start revealing something soon. I have a feeling some huge change in my life is right around the corner, I just am anticipating it so much that I can hardly sit still. Sometimes I wish God would just reveal His plan for my life right now because I can't stand waiting much longer. But on the flip side, I know I can't take this into my own hands. If I do, I could make a really stupid decision and end up hurting myself even worse. So basically I'm praying for patience and motivation to keep me from doing stupid stuff that I shouldn't be doing or that will hurt me. I'm praying for guidance and support and encouragement and all those things that will keep my mind off the boyfriend issue and more on the heart issue. All I know is that God has great plans for my life and I have to give up this stubborn pride and let Him takes the reins because I don't know the directions but God does. I don't want to end up hurting myself by jumping the gun, but I also don't want to stay at this point in my life much longer. I want to move on to someone better for me and find happiness.... But I also think God is teaching me that being in a relationship isn't what's going to make me happy. I hope and pray that God is just making me wait so He can finish working on my man's heart, or make mine stronger. Either way, I feel like this time in my life is a huge test of faith that I have to be willing to back off and let God take control. I need inspiration and motivation and love and encouragement to get through this. And the only place I'm going to find that is in my Bible until my man comes along and sees my heart and loves it just like God loves it.